day 7 post-surgery misery.
the anesthesiologists scolded me for reading articles about surgery-gone-wrong and assured me they were the best team in the world. hmm. i'm still skeptical about that. as she said that, she was in the middle of failing (for the second time) to get the IV into my hand. but by the time they wheeled me into the surgery room, i didn't even have time to start counting backwards and i was out. tricky...
my life since then has been a lonely, drugged, half-asleep blur of days. unable to articulate anything clearly, i've lived mostly inside my head. i go back and forth between telling people not to make such a fuss over me (i insisted on contributing more than i should have to the cleaning/packing/moving process last weekend) and crying like a baby because i feel like my friends have forgotten and abandoned me in my time of need. the pain meds make me narcoleptic, itchy, constipated, and hiccupy. yes, hiccupy.
we've officially moved out of quaker house and into hotel honeybucket for the week. everyone gets up in the morning to go places and do things. i stay right here. on the couch. popping pills. my only joy in life right now is cuddling with bonnot, the cuddliest cat on the entire planet, who always makes me feel loved. and when people come to visit me.
time for nap.
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