24 March 2009

hey, baby

oh blog. you poor, neglected old thing.



first of all, this got me real fired up. so the idea is that you see a john solicit a prostitute, you go to this here website, and their pictures are posted for the world to see. many strong feelings. one: this is all happening in my old neighborhood in south minneapolis, where one could be solicited wearing layers and layers of winter clothes.



seriously. so my senior year was dedicated to studying prostitution and restorative justice in my neighborhood. there's some fucked up shit going on. they used to do this same thing with prostitutes, putting their pictures and bios online for all to see. and some local community organizations already posted pics of johns even before this billboard campaign...they are only supposed to be up for a few months, but when i was researching this for my project, i found photos up from years ago...

i have really mixed feelings about everything, but whether or not these men should be publicly shamed, it doesn't stop keep them from lurking around and picking up street prostitutes. it doesn't. it's a revolving door.

so i volunteered for this community restorative justice program, MCRJ. i also have mixed feeling about this. the women who runs it is super rad and the concept behind the program is that johns can opt to go attend the panel and instead of jail time/fines/pictures up on the internet, they do community service in the community where they offended, go through an education program, receive counseling, build a support system, etc. most people who have gone through the program don't repeat offend after a year, which is not the case for the traditional punitive system.

my mixed feelings come from concern for the women on the streets and the motivations of people who volunteer for the panel. this neighborhood in particular, which is one of the most diverse in the city, has become pretty gentrified in the past few years. of course most of the panel participants are white middle class folks whose main priority is to stop prostitution because they don't want prostitution in their neighborhood....if it moves somewhere else, that's fine. which means as the neighborhood becomes more monitored and the johns are pushed out, sex workers are going elsewhere for work. they're avoiding places with lots of police surveillance, trying to get the job done quick, with less time to negotiate safety and money, which usually means a more dangerous deal for them.

anyway, what do people think? i could ramble on and on and on if you want to discuss it further...

other things on the "i will blog about you when i have energy" list: visits from old friends, new ink, new cat, chickens in the city, possible new housemate, ferry carnivals, a circus, and a house blog. whew.

09 March 2009

just think of lovely things

sigh.

i decided to end my cleanse early. because it felt done and empty and pointless finally. continuing for the sake of continuing felt unnatural.

i never felt physically different, but it made me think more about being intentional, thinking before i act, how much money i spend on happy hour, and how many things are just in my head. and i'm sure my liver, kidneys, and lungs thank me (you're welcome, organs).

i just took my first yoga class in two years, which kicked my ass in the most wonderful way.

i bought plane tickets for my midwest vacation in may. i'm terrified to go home. i'm pretty sure that everyone is exactly the same as they were in high school. a six-year time freeze. and i'm a completely different person. a better person than i was, in my opinion, but ohio is not the most welcoming place for hairy legs and liberal politics.

i'm doing so many things. i feel great. and exhausted.

03 March 2009

to be autotrophic

would take more than just drinking liquid chlorophyll, it seems. adrian gave me a glass of it. it tasted like an emerald. i sat directly in the sun on my break and concentrated as hard as i could, but i was still hungry.

but this man hasn't eaten in 70 years. he is free.

i'm no yogi, but i've maintained my cleanse for 20 days. so i'm getting there slowly.

28 February 2009

pleasure slave

i actually have a callous on my right index finger from breaking up chocolate.

i remembered my dream when i woke up this morning. it was important. i've forgetten it already. according to the dream detective, whatever message my subconcious was trying to deliver, it will continue to manifest itself in different dreams until i've processed it sufficiently. so i'm not too worried.

i had to get off my bike to go around a bus that was blocking the entire lane yesterday. as i walked it onto the sidewalk, i accidentally made eye contact with an attractive greenpeace canvasser. it can only go downhill from there. i was coming from shelter, so i was all fired up about lots of things, ready to engage, but not ready for his aggressiveness. it went something like:

"don't you want to help the environment today?"
*eye roll* "i am, i'm riding my bike"
"that's a good first step. now join greenpeace!"
"um. aren't you a bunch of crazy hippies? no thanks."
"no, we're actually really awesome. so we need you to join so obama will care about all these issues. we're trying to get billions of people so he'll listen!"
"why do i have to join greenpeace to do that? why don't you have people from all sorts of different organizations come together and work on these issues. obama loves that shit."
"yeah he does, but you should join."
"mmm, i don't know enough about greenpeace to commit to that."
"ask me anything."
"you're biased. i would have to do some thorough research on my own time."
"but we need you to sign up today! or the world will die!"
"i don't half-ass things. if i sign up, it would be halfheartedly and i would start resenting you everytime i got shit in the mail. if you want me to care, you have to let me go."
"i'd rather have your half-hearted committment today than you're full-hearted committment later."
"what! don't say that, that's why people do stupid shit, because they don't think things through."
"i promise you. sign today, and your heart will fill up with joy later!"
"no it won't. it will take a lot more than joining greenpeace to fill this heart with joy. look mike, i'll tell you what. i promise to look into greenpeace if you promise to go to the feministing.com and educate yourself on anti-choice legislation that's currently on the table."
"um, okay....butyoushouldstillsignupnow!"
"bye mike. we're done now."

something like that anyway.

and then i went home and suddenly remembered that i'm in love with someone and spent two hours unsuccessfully attempting to stalk them on the internets. it was so sad. then there was music and laughing and reading aloud from trashy romance novels and saying "goodnight" instead of "goodbye" and listening to the voices of people i love being too loud as i was trying to sleep, but i wanted it to be like that.

25 February 2009

moment

day 12. it's harder than you think...or maybe you already think it's hard. anyway, it is.

today was long. i brought home sipping chocolate for my housemates in an old margarine container.i wanted to warm it up for them on the stove and bring it out in little steaming mugs and sit around the fireplace. the lid fell off the container and it leaked in my backpack. when i made it to my house, no one was around. some days i come home and wish no one was around and everyone's home, then the days i wish everyone was home, nobody is.

one of my wisdom teeth is starting to poke through. i only have 1/2 a wisdom tooth so far. it stopped growing after a while. and now this one. it's on the top, on the same side as the other. poke poke poke.

i brought a bag of chocolate with me to the soup house where i eat lunch. i gave it to the beautiful girl with the long, long black dreads at the cash register. she looked adorably delighted and gave me my soup for free. i watched out of the corner of my eye while all of employees dug through the bag and giggled. they came to my table and thanked me and i hope it's the beginning of a dependable trade.

i finished my book just now and it made me feel lonely and jealous. valencia by michelle tea. lonely because she's not talking to me anymore. because her voice is in a book and it's over now and i've been listening to her voice for a week. jealous because i'm not michelle tea.

last night my super-talented housemate sara performed her poetry:



all of these things make me wish i could write.

21 February 2009

our last sunny day for a while

according to weather.com, at least. two websites i should never trust, but always do: the weather channel and webmd symptom checker. i really need to quit them...

speaking of quitting, this is day 8 of my month-long cleanse (please take this opportunity to congratulate me on an entire week of self-control by leaving a supportive comment below. thanks.): no alcohol, no smoking, no sugar (fruit excepted). i also went to the hippieherbnaturopath store yesterday and a very nice employee helped me choose a cleansing tea that i spent many hours preparing. sara says it has the same herbs in it used in diy abortions, but so far i've found no google evidence to support this. anyway, i just had my first cup. we'll see!

yesterday i was about to tie a ribbon around some woman's 6-piece confection box and she said, "oh, and it's for our son. so can you choose a masculine color." i looked at her with a puzzled expression. "um, sorry, i don't know what you mean." she's like, "you know. just anything but pink." i continued to look confused. "oh? i guess i didn't think that pink wasn't a masculine color. huh." she looked at me like i was an idiot. ha. i wonder what makes a woman who thinks pink is feminine also think that ribbon can be masculine to begin with. i should be wrapping her sons box with...god, i don't know. snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. or something.

11 February 2009

from the space. be my friend.



yes. that's all. just...yes. why didn't i know sooner? (thanks, amy).