pleasure slave

i actually have a callous on my right index finger from breaking up chocolate.

i remembered my dream when i woke up this morning. it was important. i've forgetten it already. according to the dream detective, whatever message my subconcious was trying to deliver, it will continue to manifest itself in different dreams until i've processed it sufficiently. so i'm not too worried.

i had to get off my bike to go around a bus that was blocking the entire lane yesterday. as i walked it onto the sidewalk, i accidentally made eye contact with an attractive greenpeace canvasser. it can only go downhill from there. i was coming from shelter, so i was all fired up about lots of things, ready to engage, but not ready for his aggressiveness. it went something like:

"don't you want to help the environment today?"
*eye roll* "i am, i'm riding my bike"
"that's a good first step. now join greenpeace!"
"um. aren't you a bunch of crazy hippies? no thanks."
"no, we're actually really awesome. so we need you to join so obama will care about all these issues. we're trying to get billions of people so he'll listen!"
"why do i have to join greenpeace to do that? why don't you have people from all sorts of different organizations come together and work on these issues. obama loves that shit."
"yeah he does, but you should join."
"mmm, i don't know enough about greenpeace to commit to that."
"ask me anything."
"you're biased. i would have to do some thorough research on my own time."
"but we need you to sign up today! or the world will die!"
"i don't half-ass things. if i sign up, it would be halfheartedly and i would start resenting you everytime i got shit in the mail. if you want me to care, you have to let me go."
"i'd rather have your half-hearted committment today than you're full-hearted committment later."
"what! don't say that, that's why people do stupid shit, because they don't think things through."
"i promise you. sign today, and your heart will fill up with joy later!"
"no it won't. it will take a lot more than joining greenpeace to fill this heart with joy. look mike, i'll tell you what. i promise to look into greenpeace if you promise to go to the feministing.com and educate yourself on anti-choice legislation that's currently on the table."
"um, okay....butyoushouldstillsignupnow!"
"bye mike. we're done now."

something like that anyway.

and then i went home and suddenly remembered that i'm in love with someone and spent two hours unsuccessfully attempting to stalk them on the internets. it was so sad. then there was music and laughing and reading aloud from trashy romance novels and saying "goodnight" instead of "goodbye" and listening to the voices of people i love being too loud as i was trying to sleep, but i wanted it to be like that.