You could have a measure of good luck this year...On the other hand you might as well be prepared to face some challenges. Tiger style is not conducive to your peace of mind. This is not the time to march forth boldly into battle heedless of the consequences. You will have to pick your fights and show much restraint if you want to be successful overall. You are only likely to have two great months this year; make sure to take advantage of the opportunities they provide. The rest of the time you need to tone down your efforts and press ahead carefully with ongoing projects.
err....maybe i should stop reading the internetz. TWO favorable months? it's NOT time to march forth boldly?!
this just after i declared this year's theme: shit or get off the pot. i'm already marching forth boldly, dammit! sorry, tiger, no can stop.
extreme successes, glorious failures.
i found my bike key, finally...and lost my debit card.
becca intuition forecasts a lot of similar trades to come. so maybe in the end i'll come out even.
i have accidentally tapped into a magical brain power. or at least something that feels like a magical brain power.
not like times i've tried to access magical brain power in the past. remember in elementary school when you finished a test and you had to sit there until everyone else was done? i always finished early, so i'd set my pencil on my desk, stare at it, and try to move it with my magical brain powers. this never worked.
but lately, when i release a thought into the universe, it has been coming back to me like a boomerang...only upon its return, the thought becomes real: a person, an opportunity, or sometimes a lunch item.
kind of creepy, eh? i wonder if it's temporary. or if i have any control over these magical brain powers. regardless, i suppose i should be especially careful what i think.
maybe i should give that pencil thing another go, too...
somewhat related, i attended my first birth tonight at the hospital. the opportunity came out of nowhere, unless you count all the antsy thoughts i've had this week regarding my stagnant doula career.
when i got the call i pulled out my notes and started cramming and nervously smoking a cigarette on my porch. so much to think about! when do i use the birthing ball? what do i do if they try to give her pitocin? at how many centimeters do i stop touching her and only ask her yes or no questions? gah! nerves, nerves, nerves...
it turns out, like i knew but couldn't feel, it was fine. we connected beautifully. slow dancing was her labor position of choice. also breathing out with horse lips helped her a lot, especially when i did it with her.
it was really something, swaying and blowing raspberries for hours and hours together, her big baby belly up against my empty one.
the other day i went to flair tacos for lunch. it's not that good, but it is the closest place to work. the thing that makes it less good is that it's somehow supposed to be a burlesque taco truck and i have never seen anything burlesque happen there. Fully clothed middle aged men always serve me. once i ordered a veggie taco with beans
and the man said, "you know the beans are cooked in LARD." me: "okay. fine." him: "in fact, probably all beans you've had were cooked in LARD." me: "that's fine. i want them." him: "so NOT vegetarian, eh? cooked in LARD. not as healthy as you think. *mutter mutter* all vegetarians trying to be healthy with their beans." me: "i want them! i don't care! i only have a half hour lunch break! give me the lard beans!"
anyway, i digress...
despite flair taco's failure to provide burlesque and lard-free beans (not to mention rancho bravo's superior food quality and closerness to my house), i really wanted to tell a story about a different, nicer (also fully clothed) man i met in line the other day. he was old. with that nice wispy old man hair that i really like on old men. so we were in line and we both spotted a penny on the ground at the same time.
him: "oh, a penny!" me: "oh, and it's heads up!" him: "that's good luck." me: "you should pick it up." him: *chuckle* "oh no, i already have good luck. you should take it." me: "mmm...actually, i've been having pretty damn good luck myself." him: *wink* "well, we'll leave it for someone else."
so we did.
i saw another heads-up penny in front of my house on the way to the bus stop today. it's still there, if you're interested.
since we last spoke, i have acquired many new obsessions and restructured my five- year plan. with so many new year's resolutions, it's hard to believe, right? i know. but alas.
it all started with an empowering weekend...
first, we went to the miss indigo blue academy of burlesque alumni show, which started with non-disney princesses and ended with fried egg pasties.
then, i saw my first EVER roller derby.
i expected to like it...fine, medium, okay. i'm not that competitive, i don't like sports, so...
holy heartfailure! why didn't anyone TELL me about this before?? i did not expect to LOVE IT. i did not expect to NEED TO DO IT! i did not expect to not be able to stop thinking about it. so now all i need to do is: buy some skates, relearn to skate, learn to skate well, maybe get some more tattoos, and nurture that teeny tiny competitive seed that must live somewhere inside me. it must live somewhere inside me, because it was about to burst out of my heart on sunday. it spoke to me from within. it said, "becca, this is your destiny! incorporate roller derby into your five-year plan! call yourself 'beverly crusHer*'!" those voices are not to be ignored.
this leaves me with a lot of work to do, on top of my pre-existing life, which suddenly seems bland, meaningless, and annoyingly time-consuming.
so i have all that to think about and suddenly, 15 years after the rest of the world, i discovered ebay. there is so much cheap shit to be had! and it feeds my teeny tiny internal competitive seed. i want everything. i want things i didn't know i wanted. lingerie, feathery things for my hair, instruments, typewriters...i want roller skates! and, more so, i want to outbid!
meanwhile, i'm getting more and more anxious to see a baby be born! good god!
so much waiting...so much to be done...
of course right in the midst of my brilliant plan of action and newly discovered passions, my almost-yearlong streak of healthiness comes to an abrupt stop and common cold kicks my daydreaming ass. hard. like...stay home a few days hard. damnit. i clearly don't have time for this!
antsy antsy antsy!!!
*lamentably, this name has already been taken. curses! if you have any name suggestions for me, (burlesque, derby, or otherwise) please share.
