two degrees from kevin bacon

have you ever tried to be grumpy while wearing a tutu?

i would have said it was impossible before last night. now i know it can be done. and it can be done well.

here's how:


step one- have a bad week. work lots of hours, don't sleep much, and let yourself get nice and irritable.

step two- choose an activity to look forward to and muster up whatever energy you have to get excited about it. (example: a ferry carnival, full of joy and positive energy.)

step three- on your way to said activity, leave the house in plenty of time, get stuck in bumper to bumper friday rush hour traffic for forty minutes, stop at every red light, curse the cars around you for existing, think about how you should have taken the bus, pay $11 for parking, sprint to the ferry terminal with all your hula hoops and musical instruments, and arrive just as the ferry woman is closing the gate and the boat is floating away with your carnival on it.

step four (optional)- channel any ounce of cancer you have in your zodiac chart that traps you in your mood so that when people try to cheer you up, it will just make you feel worse.

and that, folks, is how to be grumpy in a tutu.