all signs point to cream cheese hotdog

this week. a play-by-play:

monday: yet again, my father has nearly ruined something wonderful for me: science fiction. i grew up with a dad who had an embarrassingly impressive star trek collection, including a bible written in the klingon language and a mannequin to display his uniform. so naturally, i avoided sci-fi like the plague for most of my life and in my recent years of allowing myself to enjoy some aspects of the genre, i've had a huge aversion to star trek. on my 9th birthday my family went on vacation to universal studios, florida. my dad forced us to participate in one of those cheesy "star in a star trek movie!", wherein you are given lines to recite in front of a green screen and they edit you into a pre-existing episode alongside spock, mccoy, etc. of course my sister and i were not thrilled to be wearing star trek costumes and ruining a perfectly good vacation. but when i was home this past month, i smuggled the video back with me and it somehow launched me warp speed into an another quadrant of the galaxy, beaming in some strange alter-ego evil twin to take my place here in seattle. that alter-ego actually sat on her ass watching star trek for 8 hours straight on monday. unbelievable, really.

tuesday: actually got shit done.

wednesday: nothing to report.

thursday: cashed in my babysitting sutra-bucks for me, shana, and maura to eat one of the most delicious meals i've ever encountered. love seabeans. mmm...

friday: after a post-work-mini-kegger that took place in the factory loading dock, i was the perfect amount of tipsy to thoroughly enjoy the laser: queen show with my science center passes. it exceeded all expectations and this will become part of my regular routine. after laser show, i begin my charitable pub crawl to drink for the kids. i drank a lot for the kids.

saturday: another day at work. i was late due to a parade of clowns that only i saw, that caused much bus rerouting. after work, i attempted to go to soul night sporting my midwest thrift store romper, only to find out that soul night had been moved...determined to dance, we moved to the cuff and met lots of friendly gay men who appreciated my romper like it deserves to be appreciated. dancing followed by cream cheese hotdog.

later that night...could it have been the cream cheese hotdog? could it have been the vodka-sevens i strangely ordered? i went to sleep that night feeling not very drunk and fine overall, but i woke up at 3:30 with a terrible stomach ache and knew that something had to come out of my body, one end or the other. i went to the bathroom to make that happen, with no success. i was awake in bed for two and half hours alone and in pain, considering waking someone up just so they could be with me in my suffering. i finally made myself puke around 6 and damn, did it feel good. i was fine after that...except that i had to wake up two hours later to go to work.

sunday: most insane day of work ever. one and a half staff members had no voice (not ideal for tour-giving), i was sickish and tired as hell, and marianne went home early because she started breaking out in hives in her mouth and her eyes swelled shut. which left us with two healthy people and five tours on our busiest day. iesh. the plot thickens...someone shat outside the store. liquid shit cascading down the rocks in our garden, right in front of our tour hopper door. with a paper towel used for wiping ass. who's job to clean it up? my job to clean it up! i will spare you the details, but it was an epic fail and i should get paid double for the things i touched.

depsite my exhaustion at this point, i went on an argosy cruise around lake washington with all of the local chocolate companies of seattle. it was as awkward and cheesy as i had imagined, but we got our drinks, sat in the corner with the chips and dip, and had a great and funny time.

now. it is finally my weekend.