for the men who want to be in my club

when we started feminist book club, we thoroughly discussed what kind of space we wanted to create. after much consideration, we decided that 1) we wanted it to be an open, safe space for women who identify as feminists (or at least are open-minded and respectful of feminism) and 2) we would only allow individuals who identify as a woman to come.

since then, almost every male i know (which, granted, isn't many...) has protested membership requirement #2! as soon as we carved out a space where they weren't welcome, suddenly, "i care about women's issues! i should be allowed to participate in this discussion!" and "don't you think that's really close-minded and discriminatory of you to exclude men from the conversation? how are we supposed to learn?"

ha! how are you supposed to learn? i have some ideas. for starters, you could engage in conversation with me about sexism and gender roles instead of rolling your eyes whenever i bring it up. perhaps once in a while, you could even initiate these discussions (since you are so interested in getting a woman's perspective). you could go to the library, find a computer, and type the word "feminism" into the search engine. read some articles, read some books, read some history. every morning when you wake up and start your routine, try your best to think about how life might be different if you weren't a man. and if you really want to be in a feminist book club, start one! if you think women and men should get together and discuss sexism, you're absolutely right. i would love that. i would join. that would be fantastic! and if you want to start a men's only group to talk about feminism or masculinity or anything, really, go for it (i hear liz will bake you a cake with a penis on it). these groups are not mutually exclusive!

but listen: we are not obligated to educate you. it is not our job to chase you down and beat you over the head with feminist literature.

and we shouldn't have to defend or justify this reclamation of space. i know you're probably used to being able to go anywhere you want to go, but sorry, you can't come to my book club.