of rats and women

sitting next to me at the library is a stack of ramona quimby books and a couple of judy blume classics waiting to be checked out, waiting to inspire me. on hold: books about the history of chocolate, the corruption of the chocolate industry, olmec culture, and kidney stones.

the removal of my stent was absolutely horrible and violating. when i got home, i took a pee and *plop* out came some 'lil kidney pebbles. of course being the disgusting person i am, i reached in and retrieved stones, washed them off, put them in a small jar, tried to make all my housemates touch them, and set them on my nightstand for the time being. now i have kidney stone fragments in a jar and dreadlocks in a bag. former parts of my body that i just can't throw away. and i'm not much of a packrat, i swear.

speaking of rats, it's been confirmed by various sightings that we are sharing our house with a nice family of them. things i don't like about rats: turds on the carpet, the thought of them trying to cuddle with me while i sleep, disease. otherwise, i'm not particularly offended by their presence. i romantically imagine mama and daddy rat tucking the little ones in at night and kissing them each on the forehead, then going out to gather whatever crumbs we've left lying around, which would have gone to waste otherwise...really movies like "am american tail" and "ferngully" ruined me for good. apparently i missed a lot of rat drama last night, wherein the fat black rat was actually caught in the trap, thought to be dead for a moment, then squirmed around and escaped. i hate the thought of snapping necks on anything. in fatu hiva thor heyerdahl wrote, "the tiny fruit rat, a clean and happy animal...ran about in the thin branches outside our window, stealing oranges. or, rather, preventing us from stealing them from him." my thoughts exactly. aside from the "tiny" and "clean" part.

remember that time i thought i was going to have to stop eating dairy? something worse has happened. i have to stop eating foods (as in "stop for the rest of my miserable life" stop) with high oxalate levels, including (but not limited to): spinach, rhubarb, tea, peanut butter, tofu, draft beer, strawberries, blueberries, and (aw, life, so cruel and ironic) chocolate. this is a completely unreasonable demand and may eventually lead to me finding another job and/or severe depression. on the plus side, i can eat dairy. come to me, delicious cheese!

i have a mild crush on a boy who works at the grocery store. we've talked at the register a few times and we always make small talk when he's stocking produce. and once i picked up a bunch of bananas that he dropped when his hands were to full and we made meaningful eye contact for a minute. sigh. also ran into my severe-but-ridiculous crush at farmer's market. i think i remember chuckling nervously and mumbling a lot, which is usually how our interactions go. there is no way he thinks i am brilliant and amazing or really probably cares for that matter. tragic. but geez. something about boys around veggies...