since yesterday, i've been on edge. dressed up with nowhere to go. waiting by the phone. actually.
i've been trying to stay normal and maintain a routine, but everything i do seems to be an outlet for my nervous energy. and my "fuck you!" energy.
yesterday at the eye doctor they asked me if i drank or smoked. i lied. why do they need to know? i lost my wallet on the way there and smoked a cigarette on the way back. in the rain. my eye doctor will never understand my tragic, poetic cigarette in the rain.
then we were talking about how cookie monster eats vegetables now because sesame street doesn't want to contribute to child obesity. but! gah! it's not, i mean, er...i need a cookie for that. to honor cookie monster. the monster formerly known as cookie monster.
and i'm frustrated about work. i'm frustrated at how much i give and i'm frustrated to be left hanging and i'm frustrated about how much weight every life choice carries right now and i'm mad that i had to give a tour to a group of 25 drunk women on saturday who made jokes about child labor and talked to each other the entire time. so rude. you'd think i'd need some whiskey for that one, but instead i spied a big reese's cup on the coffee table and ate that shitty wax slave chocolate for the first time in almost two years. mmmm....
today my nerves were at their nerviest nerve peak. i went in for my first birth, met a single mom in early labor, and left the hospital. and left my phone number with the nurse, so she could call me when things got interesting. i looked at my phone every two seconds and went to study and cram when i should have just rested. and the best way i prepared was by eating a giant hamburger because it seemed like the thing i needed most.
and i've been sitting right here ever since. checking phone...cramming...writing a comprehensive document of everything i've ever learned...checking phone...watching tk fight with a packet of saltine crackers...checking phone...good god!
i'm calling the charge nurse....
...
"oh, her? she went home," says charge nurse. oh. well. either she popped it out immediately after or i left or, more than likely, she wasn't progressing and they sent her home until her contractions were productive. either way, i'm sure she's a lot more on edge than me.
too bad...i would've liked to have been at the birth of a little scorpio girl born during the peak of the leonid meteor shower.
it's a lot less "choose my own adventure" and a lot more "other people choose my own adventure." or maybe it's "i'm just part of someone else's adventure to begin with."
but that just seems less appealing.
17 November 2009
09 November 2009
when you give your guests a typewriter
frat haus guest book!!!!
agshark attackkk!
tk represejt'
oliver, breplb reluctantly
werd, werds, werds, but not a thing to say. winter was waving wistful when "WHAM" went the water with what willpower water will wantonly whittle.
the sound of the electric typewriter is one that has escaped from our land. it lives on in the phillipines and in this house.
don you you can. you p ayin with your life; this ain't no truth or dare. show em what's funky, show em whats right; it doesn't matter what's wrong or right just beat it. as in, take two eggs, half a cup of heavy cream, a pinch of salt, blend in a bowl, saute on low for 7 minutes until fluffy and golden serve with fresh fruit and toast, as part of a healthy breakfast.
this is not the easiest thing to type. of the night.
what is that thing? what is that thing? where is that thing? that music can not be described. where is that desrcription?
desicration
the nation
that facial motion
can "i take my glasses back?" whatever when the thing that's happening is just as interesting as the person is typing. the thing that is being typed is more than is being interpreted. whatever is is is is is is is is is is is is what bannter. what why wherefore?
the night was drawing to a close. the ladies of the worried that everything would not work outalright hoever, le xxxx xxxxxx was at the party, and he promised to make sure everythin would work out alright. therefore, the ladies decided that if he romised and kept his rpomis he would be responidsble for everything bad that happpppppendred thatnight.....
would he?
yeah.
oh wait
oh shit
i'm.
coming
OUt.
I'm coing
I'm
coming out.
I'm coing
I'm
yeah yeah yeah...
so yo better get the party started
screw in the lightbulb and wash the table
dance
dance
dancedance
ya
whoa
once upton a midnight fdreary the insects started to bight. the right stuff was wrong, and the people took to long. short stuff took the stage. the page was too white, and the night the night, su k in w like a heavy blankert.
agshark attackkk!
tk represejt'
oliver, breplb reluctantly
werd, werds, werds, but not a thing to say. winter was waving wistful when "WHAM" went the water with what willpower water will wantonly whittle.
the sound of the electric typewriter is one that has escaped from our land. it lives on in the phillipines and in this house.
don you you can. you p ayin with your life; this ain't no truth or dare. show em what's funky, show em whats right; it doesn't matter what's wrong or right just beat it. as in, take two eggs, half a cup of heavy cream, a pinch of salt, blend in a bowl, saute on low for 7 minutes until fluffy and golden serve with fresh fruit and toast, as part of a healthy breakfast.
this is not the easiest thing to type. of the night.
what is that thing? what is that thing? where is that thing? that music can not be described. where is that desrcription?
desicration
the nation
that facial motion
can "i take my glasses back?" whatever when the thing that's happening is just as interesting as the person is typing. the thing that is being typed is more than is being interpreted. whatever is is is is is is is is is is is is what bannter. what why wherefore?
the night was drawing to a close. the ladies of the worried that everything would not work outalright hoever, le xxxx xxxxxx was at the party, and he promised to make sure everythin would work out alright. therefore, the ladies decided that if he romised and kept his rpomis he would be responidsble for everything bad that happpppppendred thatnight.....
would he?
yeah.
oh wait
oh shit
i'm.
coming
OUt.
I'm coing
I'm
coming out.
I'm coing
I'm
yeah yeah yeah...
so yo better get the party started
screw in the lightbulb and wash the table
dance
dance
dancedance
ya
whoa
once upton a midnight fdreary the insects started to bight. the right stuff was wrong, and the people took to long. short stuff took the stage. the page was too white, and the night the night, su k in w like a heavy blankert.
05 November 2009
02 November 2009
step into the light
things that have happened fairly recently:
-idil laughed at me for having the washington litter report number programmed in my phone. i didn't do this because i intend to rat someone out...i was just curious about how it worked. i thought you called in when you saw someone throw a hamburger wrapper on the ground to describe their clothing and whereabouts, and i wondered how that would do any good at all...apparently i'm thinking too much like a pedestrian. this number is for drivers to call when they see other drivers litter:
-my bus got pulled over while i was riding it. there was only me, the driver, and some yuppie business man with a briefcase and a hunger for drama. the bus was maneuvering around this big truck blocking the bus zone on a narrow one way street and was ticketed by a grumpy old cop with sunglasses on a cloudy day and a white handlebar mustache for "not looking before he pulled away from the bus zone." they were talking outside the bus and the whole time dramatic business man was trying to open the window to listen to their conversation and looking at me with wide eyes saying, "whoaaaa. whooaaaaaa, can you BELIEVE this? whoaaaa." he never got the window open. but we sat on the bus for 15 minutes while the city wrote a ticket for the city. the driver asked for our contact information as eyewitnesses in case he contests the ticket. traffic court may be in my future.
-the kitten continues to piss in the same place over and over again. even after i threw out all the furniture and blankets he had sprayed before, hauled a futon across town, and doused everything with vinegar, baking soda, and febreze. i'm not that surprised...but i had hoped things would be different this time. well, his ballz are getting chopped off tomorrow so hmmph. they also have fleas. before we attempt the bath, we're using a flea comb which has been a gross, fascinating hobby for me for the past two days. it's disgustingly satisfying. if you've ever used one, you'll know what i mean.
-amy is back in town for a hot second...we've been lazing around the house, biking for cupcakes, and making earrings shaped like vaginas. :)
-i have been surprised to find out that more than two people read my blog. huh. do you read my blog?
-idil laughed at me for having the washington litter report number programmed in my phone. i didn't do this because i intend to rat someone out...i was just curious about how it worked. i thought you called in when you saw someone throw a hamburger wrapper on the ground to describe their clothing and whereabouts, and i wondered how that would do any good at all...apparently i'm thinking too much like a pedestrian. this number is for drivers to call when they see other drivers litter:
Citizens who witness littering acts can call the hotline and report basic information such as date, time, location, objects thrown, the license plate of the vehicle, and a description of the vehicle.well then. i will delete that number.
-my bus got pulled over while i was riding it. there was only me, the driver, and some yuppie business man with a briefcase and a hunger for drama. the bus was maneuvering around this big truck blocking the bus zone on a narrow one way street and was ticketed by a grumpy old cop with sunglasses on a cloudy day and a white handlebar mustache for "not looking before he pulled away from the bus zone." they were talking outside the bus and the whole time dramatic business man was trying to open the window to listen to their conversation and looking at me with wide eyes saying, "whoaaaa. whooaaaaaa, can you BELIEVE this? whoaaaa." he never got the window open. but we sat on the bus for 15 minutes while the city wrote a ticket for the city. the driver asked for our contact information as eyewitnesses in case he contests the ticket. traffic court may be in my future.
-the kitten continues to piss in the same place over and over again. even after i threw out all the furniture and blankets he had sprayed before, hauled a futon across town, and doused everything with vinegar, baking soda, and febreze. i'm not that surprised...but i had hoped things would be different this time. well, his ballz are getting chopped off tomorrow so hmmph. they also have fleas. before we attempt the bath, we're using a flea comb which has been a gross, fascinating hobby for me for the past two days. it's disgustingly satisfying. if you've ever used one, you'll know what i mean.
-amy is back in town for a hot second...we've been lazing around the house, biking for cupcakes, and making earrings shaped like vaginas. :)
-i have been surprised to find out that more than two people read my blog. huh. do you read my blog?
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