all the single ladies

shana brought home a flier from work printed by the seattle cancer care alliance with information on how to cope with the (and this is the official medical term) holiday blues.

Did You Know? You might be at risk for the Holiday Blues if you are...single, coping with a chronic or recently diagnosed disease, have a history of loss...

whoa whoa whoa...single? that is the biggest risk factor for the holiday blues? even before being diagnosed with a disease? luckily, they continue with helpful hints on how to cope and "manage your expectations":

-prioritize and minimize
-acknowledge the way you feel
-communicate your needs
-focus on what gives you peace vs. obligation (does this mean i don't have to call mom and dad on christmas?)
-realize there is no magic formula
-reflect on what really matters
-create new traditions (like drinking mimosas by yourself and listening to the mariah carey holiday pandora station)

so, that being said, i think i've done best at creating new traditions and am having the hardest time with realizing there is no magic formula. because it seems like if i weren't single, i wouldn't even get the holiday blues. and since "being in an unhealthy or stressful relationship" and "working retail on christmas eve" aren't on the risk factor list, just finding any old companion seems like a pretty magical formula to me.

...well, i gotta go watch bridget jones and eat ice cream straight out of the carton and drink wine straight out of the bottle. k bye.

diagnosis

the other night my heart started twitching. or palpitating? i'm not really sure. it was like a surge of blood through my heart every once in a while, like those electric power surges where all the lights get bright all the sudden. webmd symptom checker says it could be excessive caffeine use, cocaine abuse, a vitamin b12 deficiency, pseudohypoparathyroidism, or an acute stress reaction. or 15 other things.

anyway, it stopped. then my eye started twitching. do you know what causes that? stress. fatigue. nervous system disorders.

it got really cold here. there was frost on everything yesterday. and a strange fog. i took the bus, which slid all over the road. we were going under the aurora bridge and the bus driver said, "if you look to your left, you see a bridge going nowhere." it just disappeared into the fog. everyone looked to their left and made grunting noises. "hmm. eh. isn't that something."

my feet hurt like hell. webmd symptom checker says that possible causes are: dancing in heels for five hours straight last night.

a personal record, and something i won't ever do again.