minneapolis smells different than seattle. here when it rains, it smells like earth and clouds. in seattle, nothing changes.
yesterday i was suddenly in back in my old life, but not. ferdosa talks now. she was so shy at first because she didn't recognize me. the new baby is fat. asha and i sat on the front stoop. she dipped her bread in tea and told me not to bike home, or i'd be struck by lightning because my bike is metal. when did she get so smart? we went upstairs to see my old house. the girls who live there now have rules for the kids posted on their door. they have inspirational pictures hanging on their walls. like a little sign the says "god bless this house." the kids don't like the girls, and this secretly makes me happy. it's nice to be someone's favorite. especially when there are seven someones. seven ridiculously cute someones.
i forget small things. i forgot that the back door of the bus doesn't open automatically here. i stood there waiting for it to open for me. i forgot about the humidity and the flatness. and about how much good hip hop there is here.
my old life, but not.
today i remembered how young i am and laughed. ten months ago is "old life," ancient history. every decision i have to make seems important and life-changing. every damn thing is so huge.
when i am an 900-year old tree in the rainforest, i will look back on this all and laugh (but this laugh will be different than the laugh i laughed today. it will be wiser).
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let's go jump into a volcano.
1 comment:
and minneapolis is different than chicago. here, i feel like a small droplet of saltwater in the vast pacific- there's so much going on and so many people running around and so many places that are too far to bike to... all within the same city. maybe it's because i spent 4 years getting to know mpls... letting her know me, letting her reveal herself to me slowly... when i'm there i feel like i'm wrapped in her comforting embrace. things are different, and yet they're the same. buildings have been torn down and rebuilt, people's lives have been changing and moving on and growing, for a minute i forget that roads like portland and 7th ave exist... and then i remember their contours and how it feels to ride a bike down them.
can we be friends when everyone else is having babies and getting married and moving on? can we be soul-mates when more than half the united states separate us again? can we breathe just a bit easier knowing and remembering that someone out there maybe- just maybe- feels a bit of the same unsettledness as we do.... a sort of awkward unsettledness in the eyes of society when conversations of mortgages and 401K's come up and yet a beautiful athomedness when biking down an open road, sharing a meal with friends, talking over cigarettes and coffee, sitting on rooftops and napping in an open field.
i miss you already friend.
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