dingle dingle

updates:

friday night i biked to seattle center to receive previously mentioned hug from amma. i imagined it to go like this: i walk into a beautiful room, amma embraces me, everything that has ailed me is cured, i exit peacefully and blissfully. what actually happened: we waited in v. long line for numbered token, entered stressfully large and noisy room, walked past tables of amma merchandise and hippie bath products, sat in folding chairs for 2.5 hours listening to amma speak. not to be rude or anything, but her speech was kind of cliche and my ass was hurting something fierce. i was uncontrollably fidgety by the time they started the singing, not to mention a little triggered by the mega-church vibe i was feeling, so we peaced out sans spiritual hug and went to a bar instead. whiskey= spiritually healing?

regarding my hermit crab: still missing. people seem to chuckle a little when i explain the situation. i don't find it funny.

after clogging workshop #2, i know the following steps: bertha, lee, earl, alamo, and dingle stomp. this is very satisfying. i love whoever named these.

i am possibly being stalked by a beauty consultant i met at our lemonade stand. she really wants me to try this sample of enzyme face exfoliator that melts off your first 3-5 layers of dead skin, leaving your face smooth and radiant. scary, right? of course i didn't, as it sounds terrifying. the next week, she spotted me in a crowd of thousands at the folklife festival, ran over to me, and asked me how i liked the face-melter. i replied, "to be honest, i'm a bit frightened about it. it reminds me of the fish in japan that nibble the dead skin off your feet." she and her friend laughed and squealed and assured me that it would change my life. last week she called the CRISIS LINE asking for me. how the hell did she find me? they transferred her call to shelter and suddenly, while i'm in the middle of listening to someone disclose personal, traumatic information this girl wants my feedback on facewash. who does that? who?

well, here's a secret: after carefully reviewing the ingredients to make sure there were no scary chemicals in it, i tried the g.d. sample. my dead skin came off in little boogers. my living skin was, indeed, smooth and radiant. damnit. i will never, ever tell her.

since i'm sharing secrets, i want to let you know that i have a silly, silly new crush...that is all i can tell you for now. tehe :)