errands

i just biked home in the rain. v. exhilarating and joyful, despite the fact that i was biking home from the hospital so they could take a picture of my insides. now my armpits stink stink stink.

on my walk home from work today, i stopped by the piercer so they could take the metal out of my face that i'm not allowed to have for new job. i sighed when i sat down and said, "this is sad. but i have to do it for my new job. the end of an era..." to which the girl helping me, in all her tattooed-n-pierced glory, just raised her eyebrows in an expression that clearly meant, "you're a sell-out. way to compromise yourself for the man." not the kind of love and support i could have used at the moment.

after that i went to the bank. i never intend to be honest with my teller when he asks me how i'm doing, but somehow i always end up spilling my guts. i realize that they have to ask, but...it always sounds so sincere.

"and how are you today?"
"fine...i mean, terrible. i just had to take my piercings out for a new job and i'm passing four kidney stones, two on each side, and house hunting is going nowhere and i'm so stressed out about paying the bills and i feel like i'm letting all of my friends down lately and yesterday and today i spent the whole day not eating 'cause i thought my belly had to be empty for these tests and the doctor never called me back to tell me that i could have been eating the entire time and so many people are moving away and i don't know how to fix my bike and i spilled coffee on my dress today. and i think my hermit crab is sick."
"wow...that sounds awful...um...so just this deposit for you today?"

no, i want you to fix everything, damnit!

i started cleaning my room and taking things off the walls. i found my bag o' dreadlocks. i decided that in my quest to minimize my belongings, i can't justify carrying them around me whenever i move. i also can't throw them away. it seems wrong. i don't really know what my other options are. suggestions?