hairnets, hairnets everywhere

"my life is surreal" highlights for week of may 10:

1. 25 adults running loose after hours in a chocolate factory. climbing up ladders, crossing the yellow and black line, catching fresh chocolate flake in their hands. it falls like snow from the refiner in big, fluffy flakes. a chocolate blizzard.



2. drinking free beer on the knuckles of a giant troll with a bunch of bike bros.

3. willingly allowing a madagascar hissing cockroach to crawl all over me because. i think it's neat.

right now my hair is too long, my attention span is too short, my favorite animal is a wandering albatross, and i want a lightning bug tattoo behind my left ear.

what!? i iz reading the newz!

ba-bun-dred

shall i keep adding to the MIR (merc in retro) list? okay.

-mom accidentally scheduled her vacation for the week before i come home instead of the week i actually am home
-my loan company called my whole family trying to track me down because the bill they sent me was returned from the post office with a note that said i was unlisted
-my bus was forty five minutes late the other day

cloud cult made me feel like my soul was bursting. it hurt and it felt good. i didn't cry, but i could have if i were a person who ever cried to begin with.

lately i've been daydreaming about the next big change in my life. it comes in these random pangs. i'll be walking down the street and think about all of my friends and i relocating to the caribbean, like a babysitter's club super special. or yesterday a customer came in and started talking about his non-profit in south africa and how they probably need people to work for them soon. and i just imagined. or when ben and larissa were cutting their hair i thought about how maybe now is the right time to shave my head.

last night i dreamed i got this big tree tattoo. really simple lines all down my arm. in the dream i loved it so, so much. i looked for it online today, but it doesn't exist.

a customer came up to the register and said, "i'll have a dark marshmallow big daddy. because that's what i am." um...i felt embarrassed for him.

i love my friends and birthday dinners and watching sarah haskins until we can't keep our eyes open and the $2.35 we made busking on the ave and the protest song that will inspire generations to come.

collard mercs

i have started keeping track of things i attribute to mercury being in retrograde. so far they are:

-losing my keys at work
-losing my spare bike key
-my bus being 21 minutes late
-losing my library book so severely that spl is threatening to send me to collections
-relentless automated phone calls re: my vehicle's factory warranty
-the button on my jeans actually broke. it did not pop off. it just broke in half. while i was peeing.

granted, all of these things happen to me frequently anyway. and granted, this whole retrograde business isn't supposed to start until tomorrow morning. but still. i am preparing for the worst. i imagine it's going to involve a lot of communication break downs and relationship processing and me being late for work. fuck friday the 13th. it's nothing. i'm staying in bed until may 30th.

and, as if that weren't enough planetary action to make turn me into grumpy grumpkins, there is a full moon saturday. i'm in a love/hate relationship with my blood and the lunar cycle. i think i ovulated last week, which perhaps will put me on the right track for once. or it could be all in my head. i'm growing increasingly irritable by the minute.

this calls for shitty bar food, touchy porn, and shamelessly eating my weight in pearl jasmine confections.

on the way home from aforementioned activities, liz t and i walked by the fusion ultra lounge, the swanky club that shares a wall with the divey sketch-bar blue moon. they have the dress code posted on the window that includes such things as: "clean shoes. no solid color shirts. tight fitting clothes. collard shirts." collard shirts, eh? so i and my dress code violating ass decided to pop in and inform the management of the spelling error. some server came out to investigate and just looked perplexed. says liz, "it says collard. not collared. like collard greens! which really doesn't mean a lot when it comes to shirts!"

true. it doesn't mean a lot when it comes to shirts. give me the blue moon any day.

going to bed to hide out. see you in 23 days.




p.s. eek! i just realized i will be flying on an airplane during this chaos. a terrible idea. a terrible. idea.

all nighter

the only evidence that this weekend really happened:

1. the dead raccoon we stopped to pick up on the way home


2. the nebula bruise on my bum from falling down the front porch steps


things that did not happen this weekend:

chicken coop building. *sigh* shana and i realize we have no building skillz. we did measure our yard, so that's progress...

big head

i thought i would have more time to write tonight. i have time. i don't have energy. my brain is made of mashed potatoes.
here is a may day photo. me two years ago:

ah, changes.
in new york we all said we feel like we've changed so much since 2006. i told them i've changed a lot, but they all seem the same to me. with different scenery, different characters. they are still there. they laughed and told me i am the same. i was shocked! but damn does it feel good to feel known. and to be reminded that i was still me inside, even under that papier mache crane head.

three damn nights.

there is too much to say and only ten minutes to say it.
red schwinn is back in action, ready to take me on summer biking adventures. it was a joyful reunion indeed.
i'll have to write about this weekend's real joyful reunion later. summary: i am overwhelmed with love, i hope i wasn't the one to bring swine flu to seattle, and it's nice to be back in a place where i'm not frowned upon for walking slowly. i really really enjoy walking slowly.
last night i taught a man who dropped his false teeth on my arm just one wednesday ago how to do a jazz square.
this morning oliver got stuck in a tote bag handle and tried to look proud while i laughed at him and took pictures.
there is nothing i would change about my life right now.